Friday, April 19, 2013

Broken wing

My first memory was when I was probably 3 or 4. I was in the bathroom standing on a chair brushing my teeth. I remember my reflection. It stared back at me in disbelief and fear. I kept brushing. The chaos and fighting then came behind me. I feared falling off the chair. Maybe I was bumped in the process. 

By the time I was 6, I knew a life that I didn't want. I had a nerf soccer ball and played on the neighbor's basketball goal. I taught myself to shoot. I gained my strength and moved up to a real basketball. I had a passion for something. I had an outlet. My plan was to play basketball in college and leave the life of screaming, chaos, drama, and negativity.

At 8, my little sister was born. I had a new reason for living. My happiness grew and I began taking on responsibilities that no 8 year old should have. It didn't matter. I had to be the grown up. To survive and cope.....I had to do this.

Here I am 30 years later, and the chaos and drama no longer have it's power over me. I am free of it. I have the power to release it with writing and painting. I can come here and send it out into the universe until it begins falling to the earth and is consumed by the atmosphere. 

Beautiful obliteration!
seeking somewhere to rest for a while, it's molecules break loose
the matter of its makeup all of a sudden make no sense.
the reality is no longer held together by turmoil and verbal abuse

My broken wing has healed. 
stitched together by freedom. by love.
lifted up by forgiveness.
I soar higher than before.

I rise up. 
My eyes transfixed on my own blue sky.
I awake to renewal.
I awake to the sun shining brightly
in my window reminding me of 
the magnificence of nature.


This is the life I choose. 

"With a broken wing, she still sings.......Man you outta see me fly!"





inspired by Martina McBride's Broken Wing




22 comments:

  1. beautiful.

    raw beauty.


    i love you my sister ..... and your wings!!!

    oxox
    k
    8's

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  2. You are beautiful... This post went straight to my heart. I'm sorry you had to live through that. You are overcoming--breaking the cycle. You have turned your pain to beauty. Your wings are beautiful. Big squeeze sister! xo

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  3. Mindy, you are so giving and have so many gifts, writing, painting, teaching, a loving heart, and many more, Thank you for sharing your gifts.

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  4. What a great post.. You are such a beautiful soul. This song is the exact song I listened to over n over after my divorce.. It has such a healing power in it. So happy you overcame and became the person you are today.. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others.. XOXO

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  5. so brave....all that and so much more come through in your paintings. you have an amazing gift and voice and we are all the lucky ones to share in it. ox mary ann

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  6. Oh sweet Mindy, I feel we may have shared the same childhood, every word touched my heart and pulled at my own memories, I also grew up fast and hard but I was the youngest rather than the oldest and my sibs were grown adults by the time I was born and they fled our parents; I was left to fend on my own. I LOVE your painting. I also love that we can rise above the ashes and become light and reflect only love and that is the truest gift of art and creating...we give back even just in the sharing. Thanks for sharing and touching my heart today.

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  7. Thanks you for being brave and sharing a bit of your story. Our stories matter, all of them.
    You are a strong beautiful Soul, you were born to do this.
    I love you <3

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  8. You have chosen to be strong but soulful. You are a role model for goodness. .

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  9. Hugs to your little girl and cheers to the power you discovered! Thank you for sharing and your strength!

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  10. Beautifully vulnerable. My story goes something like this, too. Thank you for sharing. xo

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  11. Wow! Beautiful post and painting, Mindy. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself.

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  12. oh dear friend. what a beautiful, beautiful, post! I love watching you fly!

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  13. Beautifully written...
    Thanks for sharing this.

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  14. your post is a great example of how much ART can heal - thank you for sharing your story!

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  15. Sister you are not alone we have had a hard life. The experience we share is not a cycle! With our lives we protect our young, our sisters, our friends. To say " break the cycle is only a cliche and only that.

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  16. I quite often lurk and read, maybe repin but don't comment.

    Just had to today - beautiful post. I could learn a thing or two about letting go. Thank you for sharing :)

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  17. Difficult to express my feelings, i feel so moved by your story.I send you love and admiration.

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  18. It is a big sign of strength to be able to share this. I admire your strength, your art and I adore your smile :-) Sending you lots of warm thoughts!

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  19. oh mindy. just this week i had many thoughts about how, perhaps, in repair i am stronger than ever, as my focus shifts from my own broken wings to the fact that i still have them. (one day, i've always known, i will get the broken wings tattooed on my back covered up...that day is getting closer). as always, whenever i take the time to peek in here, it resonates with where i find myself in a similar point in time. <3

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  20. What an amazing post to read. Sending love to both the big and little girl you are. Thank you for sharing your stories and your art, you are a wonderful role model and human being.

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  21. I just watched your LB lesson.. connection..
    waving to you, from Au.. and this post.. was .. very moving, and touched a little girl in me too.

    thank you so much for your beautiful sharing of you and your art and soul.

    i enjoyed it, very much
    love D xx

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  22. Ohhh, Mindy...tears in my eyes...sadly, I, also, lived a childhood filled w/ chaos, drama, negativity, turbulance, & anger + abandonment from my father. Thankfully, I do have some positive memories that I am able to look back on. I, too, am the oldest; & became the little mama of my sister & brother when my parents separated. I was around 10. At 8, I intuited a very different life than I was living....especially, knowing that I would end up w/ a kind, loving, & healthy man (& I have!). I felt this loving sensation from the core of my being...a deep knowing...it felt light & hopeful, a cloak of protection....& I hung onto that, to carry me through for the next 10 1/2 + yrs.

    Once again, I am so deeply touched by your words. "stitched together by freedom. by love. lifted up by forgiveness." ~ this is me...& how I feel. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share!

    Much love, ~H❤~

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